By Suzy Bales

There comes a time in every gardener’s life when they are caught with their petals down. It happens after a heavy rain, a drought, high winds or a prolonged vacation. No one wants to admit it is the norm. When visitors are expected our garden should look its best.

I settled on a strategy of donations, distraction, decoys and dazzle. I scooped up several dozen hellebore yearlings lurking just under their mother’s foliage and another dozen rose of Sharon seedlings that strayed into the gravel driveway. These I would donate to the visitors. No one thinks poorly of gift givers, do they?

My next challenge was filling in the bare spots with color. Shopping at the local nursery or dividing and moving plants was not an option. For that I needed more time to assess and plan. So I employed my distraction tactics. I moved a few pots of flowering annuals adorning the terrace into the bare spots in the border.  I reasoned, if the pot is raised, atop an upside down pot, a brick or a block of wood, just above the plants around it, it might be taken for a design element. 

At the front border where a dianthus had departed, I planted a large, scallop-shell birdbath and further back another standing, blue-glazed one. After I filled them with water and floating flowers, they too looked like they belonged. If the blue glaze mistakenly gives the impression there are more flowers, all the better. 

On occasion I bring out a traditional bee skep. It’s hollow and looks like a straw beehive or a pointy turban. I can place it over a sickly plant, use it to shade a new transplant or set it as an ornament in an empty spot. Visitors never know the troubles it hides. Placed in the garden it says I care about the environment. A point in my favor!

Garden statuary are great decoys and move about as needed. After trimming dead or diseased foliage out of the border, I tucked in a stone rabbit to play peak-a- boo.  From a larger opening, a gaggle of geese marched out.

I’ve noted if I give visitors something to talk about, it makes a better impression. So I tried to dazzle them with a wreath of sunflowers on the gate and hung a chandelier, dripping with clematis autumn joy, from a tree over a dinning table.

Since a garden is a good place to shed inhibitions, I’ve tried many a foolish thing to prepare for company. A voluptuous scarecrow relaxing on the front porch where visitors glimpse her pumpkin breasts peaking out of her low cut gown is amusing. The traditional scarecrow farmer bending over a wheelbarrow with his pumpkin buns exposed is another. Together they are a memorable pair. One thing is for sure, none are easily forgotten.

When the group arrived, I decided to be honest. I explained the untrimmed honeysuckle over the door and the roses draping over the top of the windows were romantic abandon. They seemed to buy it. I noted that if you didn’t let the weeds get to a certain size, it was impossible to see if there were any keepers among them. I pointed out a baby tulip tree, and smatterings of columbines, lupines, nigella and foxgloves seedlings and I ignored the bindweed, dock, and smartweed. When a guest admired my 6-foot tall ironweed in beautiful bloom and asked where to get it. I graciously offered her seed as no nursery I know sells it. It is literally a native New York weed.

As the tour ended, I overheard one lady say she found it refreshing to see a lived-in garden. Too ordered a garden, she stated, lacks charm.  Here there was no pressure for perfection so she felt right at home. For regular glimpses of my garden, I invited everyone to regularly check out suzybalesgarden.com.

Thank goodness I didn’t stoop to spiking the lemonade and bringing out the pink flamingos.